Being Nice to That Girl in the Mirror

When I was relatively new to blogging, I wrote a post on self-esteem. Since then, I’ve gained quite a few more followers (hi followers!) and I feel like this message needs repeating. The thing about beauty blogging: you get to see all the wonderful, creative looks people put together and all the cool products you never knew were on the market. You also get exposed to products that make you question what’s wrong with yourself. There are only so many posts you can see for pore refining masks, before you start to look a bit more closely at your own pores. Are my pores too big? Too clogged? I can see them, so they must be. On my last post, many women shared the experience of growing more confident with their looks as they aged, but I worry that too much exposure to the beauty industry could bring those petty insecurities back. Here are some things you don’t have to feel bad about:

  • Your Weight I have a lot to say here. Heavier women have never had it easy in this domain, but with the advent of “skinny fat” and skinny shaming, thin women don’t always have it easy either. I’m not against weight loss/gain for health or even vanity reasons (I’ve been hitting the gym extra hard since my clothes began to fit a little tight). But even when you want to change your weight, trust me when I say that you will have more success coming from a place of love than a place of hate. Who are you more motivated to change for, the person you love or the person you don’t want to look at?
  • Your Shape Along the same lines, it’s hard not to worry about your shape in a world of “squat your way to a bigger butt” and “plank your way to flatter abs.” Despite what those 30 Day challenges would have you believe, it’s not so simple to change the shape of your body. There are people in peak physical condition who don’t have 6 pack abs. Beyond that, think of the effort you have to put it. You’re going to have to continue to put that effort in for as long as you want to keep that shape. If the body you want requires you to spend hours in the gym every day and severely limit your diet, do you want to keep that up for the rest of your life? I can’t tell you what to decide for yourself, but it’s something you should consider
  • Your Skin Tone Here’s a good one. The beauty industry has a nice habit of making white women wish they were tanner, while at the same time marginalizing minority women. Think about foundation. Some companies have a huge range that fits a variety of skin tones, like Loreal. Others will only have one or two shades for black women. And think of a foundation labeled “medium.” Is this color medium when you consider the wide range of skin colors out there, or is it only medium for white skin tones?
  • Your Hair Everyone seems to hate their hair and wish they were born with a different texture. If that’s true, think of all the women who wish they were born with your hair texture. Makes you feel better, doesn’t it?
  • Your Face Because you should never feel bad about the thing that your loved ones recognize you by.

So here are my last thoughts on self-esteem. I don’t think you have to wake up every day and feel like you are the most beautiful person in the world. That might be unrealistic. But whenever you feel inadequate based on the supermodels you see in magazines or the tips you see on pinterest, remember that you are beautiful.


46 thoughts on “Being Nice to That Girl in the Mirror

  1. What a great post V! Thanks for sharing a candid overview of media and its influences on women’s self esteem. I have to say back in college I went through a phase where I was at the gym almost everyday to stay fit but now I’m learning to take it easier and not be so harsh on myself with my workout regimen. Thanks for reminding us that we are beautiful the way we are, flaws and all 🙂 xo~ Lena

    • Thanks for reading, Lena. Truth be told, I still hit up the gym, but I try to do it for health reasons. That means no checking the scale, just seeing if I can work out a little better than I did the day before.

  2. This is one of the best posts I’ve read so far! I’ve come to terms with the way i look (and happily so!!) but i have so many friends who crib about so many aspects of their looks. Forwarding the link to this post to all those girls. 🙂

  3. This was a wonderful post!! I feel its so important to remember that no one is perfect and learn to love yourself and what you percieve as imperfections. I think we in the beauty community need to remind people of that. Loving yourself is a huge part of being beautiful

    • Very true. Especially in the beauty community, I think we can be overexposed to some of things that make us feel bad about ourselves. Thanks for reading!

  4. definitely a post I needed especially when I just want to put a paper bag over my face if I need to leave the house and feel miserable with my size since everyone keeps pointing out how thin I am/calling me anorexic when I actually eat and probably more than I should lol. So yeah… needed this in my life!

    • Glad that it could help. People are so awful sometimes. In my early twenties, I was naturally 20 lbs lighter than I am now with no dieting and minimal exercise and people used to say the most snide things

  5. I can tell you really put your heart into this post. ❤
    I exercise at home and got a treadmill ordered for Christmas from my dad. He knew that I've been wanting one for my apartment FOREVER. Is it wrong to be decorating a whole room around it? lol. I like staying trim for myself and it helps me train for my sport, which is Figure Skating. I think we all need to focus on exercising because we love, not because it is what everyone else is doing or wants us to do.

  6. Absolutely beautiful and inspiring post!! I used to have low self-esteem, but have definitely learned to love myself for everything that I am!! Amazing message!! You’re so sweet!! Thanks for the smile!! XOXO

  7. It is a nice thing,, that we can go back & reflect on ourselves of the way were *suppose to after all,,,, it is (us) that looks at ourselves in the mirror each day & think? am I too much of a BIG Bone person or….SMALL-? is my hair too short/Long ? & S000 many other things we can put ourselves down for….for not being as Pretty as some 1, else when after all,,,, We should really start to look within our inner *BEAUTY First !!!! It all starts there & being Thankful,,, & yes it is o.k. to go to a Gym or watch what we eat/Diet …..perhaps ??? a different kind of way of looking at: ourselves, if we feel that their needs/wants change* We can….& it doesn’t have to be like those 30-day diets that we see & hear about in S000 many t.v. / magazine Adds that make us feel Guilty & bad,,, No… where much better then that…Let (us) start to…..(THINK) & know within ourselves…that we can & want to change!!!! & even be (here) on BLOGS with caring people….that feels the same way with certain things…that we can *LIFT up 1, another…that also Helps us…..all. thank U V,,, for once again for not only bringing us to the mirror….BUT reminding US……Very nice *Post Kelly

  8. also – “Your Face Because you should never feel bad about the thing that your loved ones recognize you by.” amazing!!! I’ve never thought of it like that before. Beautiful.

  9. Such a lovely post, I have always suffered with my self esteem. Reaching the big 30 in four months and for the first time in a long time I am starting to like what I see in the mirror. I would love to feel 100% content and happy with what I saw each day.

    • Thanks. You are definitely not alone on that one. I’m glad that you are starting to like what you see in the mirror better. Wish you all the best

  10. I can totally relate to the all of them. Most times we feel insecre with our looks and would rather look like someone else. On the other hand “the someone else” would be envying someone else. Its just really funny. Personally, I used to wish I’d grow fatter and with perfect shape but now its obvious that you are perfect just the way you are coz there are some wishing for just a lil of what you’ve got. Be nice to the girl in the mirror!

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